How YOU Can Find the Japanese Wife of Your Dreams

Japanese ladies have a reputation for being cute as well as making loving and devoted wives.

So how can a non-Japanese guy go about finding a Japanese wife?

I spent a year or two looking for a Japanese wife of my own.

Eventually I gave up, but here’s what I found out about the whole process of finding a Japanese wife.

Four Ways I Tried of Finding a Japanese Wife

Meet Japan Lady

The first way I tried of finding a wife from Japan was to join a marriage agency specialising in finding Western husbands for Japanese women. The company I tried is called Meet Japan Lady. The agency is based in the USA, with an office for introductions in central Tokyo.

Japanese women - very lovely but it's not always easy to find a Japanese wife of your own

Japanese women - very lovely but it's not always easy to find a Japanese wife of your own

Although the agency is most popular with American men, they didn’t have too many problems with a British guy joining.

This service is a marriage agency, not a dating site. The good thing about this is that you know that all the ladies actually exist! They’re also interviewed before appearing on the site in order to weed out any ladies who are unsuitable for marrying Western guys. If anything I think they set the standard of lady too high, but I can’t fault the quality of the ladies I met.

One issue I had with this agency is that the process worked quite slowly. In fact I’ve found that Japanese dating in general proceeds at an extremely slow pace. Maybe it’s the long life expectancy in Japan – maybe people don’t rush into making decisions about anything.

I much prefer Chinese ladies in this respect – they tend to fall in love pretty quickly and they know how quickly men like to proceed with a relationship!
As to Meet Japan Lady, the ladies I met through this site were very nice. However I was really disappointed that none of them have kept in touch with me. I think this is a Japanese trait of being very group focused, and not wanting to be friends with someone outside a particular social group (work collegues, family, flower arranging class companions, neighbors, etc).

While the ladies were very well educated and spoke perfect English, I have to say that I’ve subsequently met Chinese ladies who were more or less their equals in terms of education or English language skills. And my Chinese ladies have scored a huge plus by being on average five years younger than the Japanese women I met through Meet Japan Lady.

Japan Cupid

Japan Cupid is one of the most popular Japanese dating sites around. Here’s the full story of my Japanese Cupid experience.

Japan Cupid is a popular place for Japanese women to chat to Western men

Japan Cupid is a popular place for Japanese women to chat to Western men

I didn’t have much success on Japan Cupid. Not many women ever emailed me. I guess I should have done more chasing of the women, but for a busy professional guy online dating takes time that I just don’t have.

I don’t know why I got so little interest in my profile, but I’m not American and neither was I living in Japan at the time, so those both counted against me. Also not being a Japanese speaker I guess that put off a fair number of women. And I also like the idea of finding a younger wife, so I didn’t speak to many women older than myself.

One other thing I have picked up on from Japan Cupid and elsewhere is that Japanese women don’t tend to want foreign husbands, so looking for an American or other Western husband is not nearly as trendy as it is in the Philippines, Thailand or China.

And on Chinese Love Links I regularly get 3-4 emails a day. Sure, there are plenty of women seeking rich men – that’s the same on any dating site. But I do also know that many of the Chinese women I’ve met through this site have come from very wealthy families, and they’re certainly not marrying for money.

By the way, if you want any sort of interest shown on you on Japan Cupid then it’s essential to upgrade to a Gold or Platinum subscription.

Transpacific Marriage Agency

My main problem with Japanese dating was finding women interested in meeting me. To widen the field so to speak I joined the Transpacific Marriage Agency (TMA).

Taking the Shinkansen bullet train all over Japan can be an expensive proposition

Taking the Shinkansen bullet train all over Japan can be an expensive proposition

This is a Tokyo based marriage agency. It operates on a paper based system, although they do email out PDF versions of the profiles of ladies who are interested in you.

I found the whole thing quite slow and inefficient, as well as being quite expensive.

One major problem I had was that it was quite difficult to select women you were interested based on location. While a few women expressed an interest in me, they were often in very remote locations and would have taken a fair bit of travelling away from Tokyo. While the country is criss-crossed with a network of fast bullet trains, the reality is that fares are very costly for ordinary Japanese people to afford!

While the quality of Japanese lady using Transpacific Marriage Agency is good, I think there’s not too much benefit of this agency compared to joining Japan Cupid.

Cherry Blossoms

Finally I did look for Japanese women on other popular Asian dating websites.

My hopes were raised when I found a few Japanese women on Cherry Blossoms (a dating site popular with men seeking mail order brides from South East Asia). However, my hopes turned to disappointment when I found out all of the Japanese women were actually Filipino women who had simply put their country as Japan!

I don’t know if this was in error, or whether it was in the hope of getting a bit more interest shown in their profile. While some of the Filipino women I found did appear to live in Japan, they clearly weren’t Japanese. And as I got hustled by a Filipina pimp in Shinjuku, I am now forever suspicious of Filipinos living in Japan.

Other Approaches I Didn’t Try

Japanese Friend Finder is another Japanese chat site that’s popular with men looking for Japanese girlfriends. I didn’t try this site as to be honest once you’ve tried one Japanese dating site then they’re all pretty much similar. In fact you’ll find that you’ll eventually recognise the same Japanese women appearing on different dating sites.

Hit Shinjuku's bars and clubs and you're sure to find Japanese girls who are interested in chatting to you

Hit Shinjuku's bars and clubs and you're sure to find Japanese girls who are interested in chatting to you

Because I don’t live in Japan I wasn’t able to look for international evenings in Tokyo or Osaka. Apparently these are good places to meet Japanese women interested in relationships with Western men. But if you are an expat or an English teacher then seek out these events, as they’ll often be great places to meet good, traditional Japanese girls who are too shy to add their profiles to dating sites. And of course you’ll avoid any problem with online dating scam artists.

Finally I guess I should have hit the bars and clubs of Roppongi Hills while I was in Tokyo. I’ve heard this is a good place to meet Japanese women interested in meeting foreigners. However, without knowing the local entertainment scene at all, I’d be wary of this approach in case I entered one of those infamous 5000 Yen-a-drink hostess bars. And obviously Japan is the same as anywhere else really – women you meet in bars aren’t always the best wife material.

So as you can see there are many different ways of finding a Japanese wife. The take home message really is that:

  • To find a Japanese wife, you really do need to spend a year or two living in Japan.
  • Don’t date Japanese women without learning about the language and culture.
  • Japan is super expensive to visit unless you have an income in Yen.
  • If you’re more interested in Asian women in general, you’ll find it many times easier to find a wife from another Asian country. Chinese women I can highly recommend – I’ve dated many and they’ve all been exceptional in their own way. It’s actually quite easy to find fluent Japanese speaking Chinese women online – Chinese Love Links is the best place to find them. I do still dearly love Japan, but I think Chinese women are far more interesting to date.

Do you want a Japanese wife? Have you tried dating or chatting to Japanese women? Leave your thoughts in the comments section below.

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